You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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