It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
