happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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