I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
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