I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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