I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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