My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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