You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
