I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
