We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
