i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
