I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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