Heybabeimwearingurpanties
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Randomize
