I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
