Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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