Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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