I am in a vortex of obligation.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize