K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
