Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
