I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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