I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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