We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
high people should be assigned attendants
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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