Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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