We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
