Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
