i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
