You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
