We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
