No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
