..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
