Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
