I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
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