when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
