Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
