what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
