Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
