Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
