no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
