bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
