Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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