She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
