dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
