It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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