you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
