ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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