Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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