this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
