weddingsv make me drug and hornr
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
