Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I had to cum in my sink.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
