Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
