She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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