Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
