you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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