My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Holy shit dude........stairs
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