He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
