What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
