I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize