i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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