I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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