Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i think im in europe. pls send help
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
