covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
